How to Attend a Funeral

Attending a funeral can be an awkward experience. What do you say and how do you act during this time of bereavement. Follow these steps to maintain the proper etiquette.


Step1
Note the date and time of the visitation and/or funeral. You don't have to attend both but the closer you are to the family, the more likely it is that you will attend both services. If you can not attend the funeral, make sure to go to the visitation.


Step2
Offer condolences by another means as well. A condolence card, a quick phone call or a meal prepared for the family will speak volumes. So many people come through the reception line at the visitation and funeral, the faces become a blur. A card can be read after the ceremony and offer support past the actual funeral event.


Step3
Send flowers if appropriate, choosing living plant if possible. Make sure the card is signed with your full name and relation if needed. An example of a co-worker card might read "Our deepest sympathy to you and your family. Sincerely, John Smith from Widget Inc."


Step4
Honor donation requests. In lieu of flowers, the family will often request monetary donations towards a charitable foundation. Envelopes or information can often be found at the funeral home or by asking the funeral director.


Step5
Sign register book whether attending the visitation or the funeral. Sign legibly and with your affiliation if necessary. Only sign the register book once though.


Step6
Follow parking protocol when attending the funeral. If the graveside service follows the funeral, there will be funeral home officials the parking lot, helping to guide the cars into a line and adding a funeral procession flag to your car. You will also be asked to keep your lights on during the processional.


Step7
Sit in appropriate spot at the funeral. The first several rows are reserved for immediate family.


Step8
Greet the family members either on arrival or departure. Offer a hug or shake hands, depending on your relationship. Offer your sympathies but do not offer clich s. Keep your words simple and heartfelt.


Step9
Keep in touch after the funeral. The funeral ends after a short time but the grieving goes on for much longer. Send a card or call periodically so the family does not feel abandoned in their grief.


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